31st December 2004
thought i wouldnt type today..
i have alot on my mind right now...n its just building up ...up in mythroat....like i'm either gonna burst into laughter...or brake down n cry...
i blame it on my PMS...its due soon...
i'm feeling vulnarable, lost, upset n
i can't help it...
and i'm a bit craving for attention...(what is wrong wit me 2day!!!!)...
just now i caught myself wonderin whylar i'm not settling down yet...(aiyo...crazy!)
i'm a farCry to even b in a relationship....
come to think of it...
i was only in one..
n it wasn't close to what i imagine...
WonderinOff this normal track...i ponder...
how would it be
what am i waiting to see?
to b in one would b ( i imagined)
wit one that is close...but b not too upclose...
wit someOne nice....and of sweet n spice...
wit someOne cute...that gives me an acute...
wit ruffEdge n distortion... cause two n two will make such a notion ...
maybe its the wind..
or those thoughts that is makin me spin...
such a sucker to give in...
wanting so bad to cave in...
Lyin lazy Feelin easy...
just some lirics dat sound so cheessy...
such a crap...feelin so lousy...
wish i had One to feel cosy...
(here i go all desperate again....yissssh)
maybe i'll love an elf...
and put my story at the back of that shelf...
while the month of this twelve..
i'm havin it all....all 2Myself.....
(so wanna just go back n bury myself under those redSheets of mine n stay there...mmmm....)
oh yeah..
eppyNuYer ait!
peace
31 December 2004
29 December 2004
2005...here i run....(hehehe)
29th December 2004
like every year....at this particular turning point..
i just pause.... n look back....
last year i had fun listing all the turns n turbulance on 2003..
maybe cause i had One bside me 2share it wit
(aint that right eddy?...heheh)
but hell...
it'll still be fun to list it down...
(here we go...)
HIGHLITES OF *2004* FOR CURRY_N_CRAP
1) Turned 25 ! (uuuurgh!)- gosh i'm older....remembered dat day i was smilling n screaming at the same time...had good dinner wit LurveOnes n dearOnes....what a day what a day!....( " , )
2) P e r t h - gotta love that laidBack good for "pencenPeeps" place...always remember the seafood, chocBody cream (i know weird huh), freyaHanley(streetPoet..u rawk babe..thnx for the CD), those crazy t'shirts (cost me alot too...hehe) , and that ugLy tan i had after that.....congrats lurve on u're graduation..nanti bring kakNgah go again eh
2) V o te d -yep did that...first time in my life... even went to see what was bilik gerakan all about...had abalone to accompany...think i voted well (for a first timer...hehhe)
3) dented, demented, distorted-u name it! - ...everything my heart had to go thru...
-broken to bits
(wedding bells to u ...was a shock to me ...u should have said something.. n i would've let u go much earlier..)
-mended
(thnx for ure time myBoo..tho someones in u're eyes now..ull always b myBoo..
lalalalal..that song lingers in my head...)..
then it healed a bit...
only to b push down the stairs..of some dark alley where the door is locked..n the key is bein thrown away
(yeah yeah..me n my imagination)....
now its a bit dislocated....n i don't know or not sure how's it doing now.... kihkihkih
4) needle n nerve - health was a taker this year... number of times i had to go thru dat rollerCoaster unstable Blood thingi ..made me pink, yellow, purple, then yellow again....i remember there was even a point i almost lost it all...n thought i wouldn't see those ceilings again...or even feel the same ....
i went thru it all alone... i didn't want anyone see the fear i had on my face...or that depressed feeling that came with it.....n here i am....still alone (muahahah...cheezy i tell ya)....another year since i was last diagnosed huh..
yan..it gets harder and harder lar...
5) corea corea ! - sam...in u're honour!.....thnx for showin me u're corea (correct spellin for korea aah)....always remember this mom-Daughter (the best ma!...serious!) trip...i rawk the town.... bigTime...(n lost acces to my creditcards...hehe)...but it was simply a blast....FIFA stadium, brooch heaven, kimChi, AnyangHaseo , KamsaHamida (corean words i learnt along the way) fakeFakeSoFake designer goods (heheheh)....n good choc drinks (somehow found a good one there...)...sam was the photographer for our trip...nows he's my frend...( " , )...sure hell missYa..
6) nuFlavas- met quite a number of new faces this year...
* nottyBaby- u rawk my world baby...couldn't see that we can do so much...even if we are beds apart...(heheheheeh)...now u're after her...hey...that's kewl....nice knowin ya
* HornyMyth- u're gettin married dude...maybe u should just throw u're "to do " list...ait...hehe...but i found ya...i really did...didn't i...heheehe
*SmallD**k- hehe...weird how we met ...who would've thought..out of all the places..n out of all the people...i had to see u....u want one thing...n i can't give it to u honey....especially people like u....gdLuck ait.Cheers!
*SpinDoctors- never knew any doctor quite like u peeps...never knew i'd be loved this far...hehehe...just three nites together...n we just hit it off great...like sisters i never had...like frends i never want to leave..lurve u both....may we meet again in 2005
* mama'sBoi- geez...u're still a puzzle to me....still haven't figured ure moves n intentions...u do have a nice mom...n i reckon u're nice too...if i get to know u more... will i?
7) Along came myPast-alot of blast from the past frends headed my way this year too
* sukai n shelly - been a while kan...really good to seeYa peeps...i'm still the same curry...even if my grounds bit shaky....still the MystyMe....hehehe
*LongDistance Bliss-Educater 2B!! u're alwaiz dat one buddy every gurl should huv...we startedOff the same path...but now u're headin another..n i wish u all the best n hope u'll find what u're lookin for... welcome to my sector...n if ever along the way...u see clouds n doubts ahead...when nothing just don't make sense....close u're eyes n look behind...u''ll find me there...nowhereElse but just there....(takeCare aaah)
* LostPoet - surprise! surprise !...u're a real blast from the past dude...n really blast me away..(if u know what i mean...kikihkihkihkih)...here's to a goodstart ahead of us ait...no matter where we'd be hangin (or headin) . ( " , ) . Longing for u're strings *wink*
* Noodles- out of the bushes i guess...thats where i found u again....kihkihihkih...noodZzz!...u're one of a kind...n u're my kind...huvbeen n will always cover u're ass when it comes to u're parents (when r u comin out of that shell anyway..still keepin shafs abreast?)...
u came back at the time i needed a familiar face the most...u came back when i don't think i needed to Lookback.... u were so right about him n that game he played....u came...n u were there.....n u made me come nearer.. n under this stromyRain...i wish u were here
All my lurveN Luck on u're newBorn place....drop by anytime..these doors are always open...(muaaaahs)
8) bangi bangi here i come- i must be the most luckiest daughter in this universe..n other alien universe out there!!!!...just when i thought u gave it all abah...theres always a lilMore from u...
(n i was so lookinForward in to movin in wit my budds....but hell...this is much better!!!....heheh) ...
u wont b readin this..but i will make sure u know that Ure the first man i've ever been in love since as long as i could remember...
many men(boyz, jerks, dudes..whatever u call it...hehehe) will come my way abah...but noOne can take u're special palace in my BigFatHeart...
i am u're shadow...n i feell u everytime i'm deep or shallow..
when close or below....when i'm hip or sorrow....either in bangi or buloh......( " , ).
fingers crossed on u're xtension...LurveYa
9) Cover Gurl- this year was also the year i did alot of coverin....be it in the office....or at leisure....some coverin cost me almost my life (hehehehe...sha punya pasal lar nie)...while others....i get paid to do so....(heheheh..orng melayu kate tanggung kerja....aaaaah)...it was the time i had to kick myAss a liltle bit more...a little bit harder....n stand on my 2feet just alilBit longer....
like all times....i remembered those nites i just threw myself in n cried n cried...n cried.... till i forgot the main reason why i cried in the first place..part of it was of my medication...but most of it was because i felt i couldn't breath well...i couldnt look clearly...i couldn't even getUp....
n so i dream....Longing for a better time..hoping that its just around the corner...n that kept me walking the xtra mile....taking that liltle hope...as i wipedOff theOld mascara...only so...to brushOn a new one.....
10) Events, Casualties, n EverAfter - lets not forget news, brews n chews of things that happend around me.....
*SisLong is xpecting-
i'm gonna b an aunt...wehhho...auntCurry ( **,)...
uve come along way from where u r now...ive seen u fall, cry n weep for the tragedy before the joy...
but joy is as joy it is..n its here...insyallah...
*sideBells ringin-
bestestBud any sriAman gurl could have...is settlinDown ...
like i said babe...u're eppyness has arrived n its here n alive...n with all our berkat n doa...may it become infinite n everAfter...amin
words of finale episode of sex n the city _
"...last nite i had a thought...what if i have never have met u? ..."
(uwa..!..sad..sad...! when is my MR BIGG comin n swift me back home.....hihihihihi)
*innocentBeauty leavin the sector?-
i remembered this time so well...i was torn between tellin her to realise her longLived Dream...or b selfish n tell her to stay....just stay.. only cause she's myStrength myWill n MyEpitome to what i standTo today..apart of me is eppy with the offer she got n all the adventure that s gonna come wit it....but it would've really made my life...if she could just stay..n njoy this adventure..together....
n u know what....
SHE DID!...n she's still here...n i'll bring her to 2005...i'll have her another year...as we both gaze at our adventures ahead...
Cheers babe!
SpicyCheers all year round *wink*
* StringsToFindingPeace-
gotta lurve that nite....in my hideAway...wit the poet here to play...n some strings to say....as i lay to you....n u play u're woo...
things to make me ease...strings to finding peace.....strings to say the least...
*tsunami disaster-
life is nuthin but learning....n u're a lesson wellLearnt...
it made our eyes open wider, ears listen further n hearts open warmer...
n it proved that out of all the diferrences we r......
in one way or another....in a good way or whatever....
we r connected.....
no matter which shores we belong to...
mmmm..what a listing...(hehehehe)...
so as i sign off on the last day of 2004.
i look back....n figure...
hey..its not so bad...its not so ugly...n definiteLy not as LoneLy...
so to all
i bid u hello n goodBye
i bid u luck n b unstuck
i wish u well n swell
as i wonder ....
should i run
or just stay to ponder...
(heheheheh)
curry_n_crap
31 th December 2004
like every year....at this particular turning point..
i just pause.... n look back....
last year i had fun listing all the turns n turbulance on 2003..
maybe cause i had One bside me 2share it wit
(aint that right eddy?...heheh)
but hell...
it'll still be fun to list it down...
(here we go...)
HIGHLITES OF *2004* FOR CURRY_N_CRAP
1) Turned 25 ! (uuuurgh!)- gosh i'm older....remembered dat day i was smilling n screaming at the same time...had good dinner wit LurveOnes n dearOnes....what a day what a day!....( " , )
2) P e r t h - gotta love that laidBack good for "pencenPeeps" place...always remember the seafood, chocBody cream (i know weird huh), freyaHanley(streetPoet..u rawk babe..thnx for the CD), those crazy t'shirts (cost me alot too...hehe) , and that ugLy tan i had after that.....congrats lurve on u're graduation..nanti bring kakNgah go again eh
2) V o te d -yep did that...first time in my life... even went to see what was bilik gerakan all about...had abalone to accompany...think i voted well (for a first timer...hehhe)
3) dented, demented, distorted-u name it! - ...everything my heart had to go thru...
-broken to bits
(wedding bells to u ...was a shock to me ...u should have said something.. n i would've let u go much earlier..)
-mended
(thnx for ure time myBoo..tho someones in u're eyes now..ull always b myBoo..
lalalalal..that song lingers in my head...)..
then it healed a bit...
only to b push down the stairs..of some dark alley where the door is locked..n the key is bein thrown away
(yeah yeah..me n my imagination)....
now its a bit dislocated....n i don't know or not sure how's it doing now.... kihkihkih
4) needle n nerve - health was a taker this year... number of times i had to go thru dat rollerCoaster unstable Blood thingi ..made me pink, yellow, purple, then yellow again....i remember there was even a point i almost lost it all...n thought i wouldn't see those ceilings again...or even feel the same ....
i went thru it all alone... i didn't want anyone see the fear i had on my face...or that depressed feeling that came with it.....n here i am....still alone (muahahah...cheezy i tell ya)....another year since i was last diagnosed huh..
yan..it gets harder and harder lar...
5) corea corea ! - sam...in u're honour!.....thnx for showin me u're corea (correct spellin for korea aah)....always remember this mom-Daughter (the best ma!...serious!) trip...i rawk the town.... bigTime...(n lost acces to my creditcards...hehe)...but it was simply a blast....FIFA stadium, brooch heaven, kimChi, AnyangHaseo , KamsaHamida (corean words i learnt along the way) fakeFakeSoFake designer goods (heheheh)....n good choc drinks (somehow found a good one there...)...sam was the photographer for our trip...nows he's my frend...( " , )...sure hell missYa..
6) nuFlavas- met quite a number of new faces this year...
* nottyBaby- u rawk my world baby...couldn't see that we can do so much...even if we are beds apart...(heheheheeh)...now u're after her...hey...that's kewl....nice knowin ya
* HornyMyth- u're gettin married dude...maybe u should just throw u're "to do " list...ait...hehe...but i found ya...i really did...didn't i...heheehe
*SmallD**k- hehe...weird how we met ...who would've thought..out of all the places..n out of all the people...i had to see u....u want one thing...n i can't give it to u honey....especially people like u....gdLuck ait.Cheers!
*SpinDoctors- never knew any doctor quite like u peeps...never knew i'd be loved this far...hehehe...just three nites together...n we just hit it off great...like sisters i never had...like frends i never want to leave..lurve u both....may we meet again in 2005
* mama'sBoi- geez...u're still a puzzle to me....still haven't figured ure moves n intentions...u do have a nice mom...n i reckon u're nice too...if i get to know u more... will i?
7) Along came myPast-alot of blast from the past frends headed my way this year too
* sukai n shelly - been a while kan...really good to seeYa peeps...i'm still the same curry...even if my grounds bit shaky....still the MystyMe....hehehe
*LongDistance Bliss-Educater 2B!! u're alwaiz dat one buddy every gurl should huv...we startedOff the same path...but now u're headin another..n i wish u all the best n hope u'll find what u're lookin for... welcome to my sector...n if ever along the way...u see clouds n doubts ahead...when nothing just don't make sense....close u're eyes n look behind...u''ll find me there...nowhereElse but just there....(takeCare aaah)
* LostPoet - surprise! surprise !...u're a real blast from the past dude...n really blast me away..(if u know what i mean...kikihkihkihkih)...here's to a goodstart ahead of us ait...no matter where we'd be hangin (or headin) . ( " , ) . Longing for u're strings *wink*
* Noodles- out of the bushes i guess...thats where i found u again....kihkihihkih...noodZzz!...u're one of a kind...n u're my kind...huvbeen n will always cover u're ass when it comes to u're parents (when r u comin out of that shell anyway..still keepin shafs abreast?)...
u came back at the time i needed a familiar face the most...u came back when i don't think i needed to Lookback.... u were so right about him n that game he played....u came...n u were there.....n u made me come nearer.. n under this stromyRain...i wish u were here
All my lurveN Luck on u're newBorn place....drop by anytime..these doors are always open...(muaaaahs)
8) bangi bangi here i come- i must be the most luckiest daughter in this universe..n other alien universe out there!!!!...just when i thought u gave it all abah...theres always a lilMore from u...
(n i was so lookinForward in to movin in wit my budds....but hell...this is much better!!!....heheh) ...
u wont b readin this..but i will make sure u know that Ure the first man i've ever been in love since as long as i could remember...
many men(boyz, jerks, dudes..whatever u call it...hehehe) will come my way abah...but noOne can take u're special palace in my BigFatHeart...
i am u're shadow...n i feell u everytime i'm deep or shallow..
when close or below....when i'm hip or sorrow....either in bangi or buloh......( " , ).
fingers crossed on u're xtension...LurveYa
9) Cover Gurl- this year was also the year i did alot of coverin....be it in the office....or at leisure....some coverin cost me almost my life (hehehehe...sha punya pasal lar nie)...while others....i get paid to do so....(heheheh..orng melayu kate tanggung kerja....aaaaah)...it was the time i had to kick myAss a liltle bit more...a little bit harder....n stand on my 2feet just alilBit longer....
like all times....i remembered those nites i just threw myself in n cried n cried...n cried.... till i forgot the main reason why i cried in the first place..part of it was of my medication...but most of it was because i felt i couldn't breath well...i couldnt look clearly...i couldn't even getUp....
n so i dream....Longing for a better time..hoping that its just around the corner...n that kept me walking the xtra mile....taking that liltle hope...as i wipedOff theOld mascara...only so...to brushOn a new one.....
10) Events, Casualties, n EverAfter - lets not forget news, brews n chews of things that happend around me.....
*SisLong is xpecting-
i'm gonna b an aunt...wehhho...auntCurry ( **,)...
uve come along way from where u r now...ive seen u fall, cry n weep for the tragedy before the joy...
but joy is as joy it is..n its here...insyallah...
*sideBells ringin-
bestestBud any sriAman gurl could have...is settlinDown ...
like i said babe...u're eppyness has arrived n its here n alive...n with all our berkat n doa...may it become infinite n everAfter...amin
words of finale episode of sex n the city _
"...last nite i had a thought...what if i have never have met u? ..."
(uwa..!..sad..sad...! when is my MR BIGG comin n swift me back home.....hihihihihi)
*innocentBeauty leavin the sector?-
i remembered this time so well...i was torn between tellin her to realise her longLived Dream...or b selfish n tell her to stay....just stay.. only cause she's myStrength myWill n MyEpitome to what i standTo today..apart of me is eppy with the offer she got n all the adventure that s gonna come wit it....but it would've really made my life...if she could just stay..n njoy this adventure..together....
n u know what....
SHE DID!...n she's still here...n i'll bring her to 2005...i'll have her another year...as we both gaze at our adventures ahead...
Cheers babe!
SpicyCheers all year round *wink*
* StringsToFindingPeace-
gotta lurve that nite....in my hideAway...wit the poet here to play...n some strings to say....as i lay to you....n u play u're woo...
things to make me ease...strings to finding peace.....strings to say the least...
*tsunami disaster-
life is nuthin but learning....n u're a lesson wellLearnt...
it made our eyes open wider, ears listen further n hearts open warmer...
n it proved that out of all the diferrences we r......
in one way or another....in a good way or whatever....
we r connected.....
no matter which shores we belong to...
mmmm..what a listing...(hehehehe)...
so as i sign off on the last day of 2004.
i look back....n figure...
hey..its not so bad...its not so ugly...n definiteLy not as LoneLy...
so to all
i bid u hello n goodBye
i bid u luck n b unstuck
i wish u well n swell
as i wonder ....
should i run
or just stay to ponder...
(heheheheh)
curry_n_crap
31 th December 2004
28 December 2004
songs for the tsuname drifters
28th December 2004
when i look at myLife n see nothin but bore...
i just do myself a favour..n look at others more...
in the news..and in the papers....
every One is sayin...everything that matters....
u want to be there...u want to know more...
u feel u need more....and get to the core.....
unexpected is what life's read...
even if its just plain weed...
a little twist...and evryone agreed...
n all that is left...is all that we need...
i look at him...sadened by the matter..
thinkin what he could have done better..
all we could be.. that is in his honour....
is to wish tommorrow... would be... less bitter....
i often asked..things i do not want...
things that i wish would never b grant...
but if i had a wand..n know what he wants...
i'll turn back time....his wishes i'll grant...
to lose the love...
is like killing a dove...
n that feeling above...
slowly evolve....
wish i had wings.....
and that particular ring...
n i will be entering...
and soul will be searching.....
there are ever afters...
and also hereAfters...
come sorrow come laughters..
forever B...my dear tsunami drifters...
* this ones for the fatherIn Tears..who lost all five gifts...at one drift..aren't we all drifting here?*
when i look at myLife n see nothin but bore...
i just do myself a favour..n look at others more...
in the news..and in the papers....
every One is sayin...everything that matters....
u want to be there...u want to know more...
u feel u need more....and get to the core.....
unexpected is what life's read...
even if its just plain weed...
a little twist...and evryone agreed...
n all that is left...is all that we need...
i look at him...sadened by the matter..
thinkin what he could have done better..
all we could be.. that is in his honour....
is to wish tommorrow... would be... less bitter....
i often asked..things i do not want...
things that i wish would never b grant...
but if i had a wand..n know what he wants...
i'll turn back time....his wishes i'll grant...
to lose the love...
is like killing a dove...
n that feeling above...
slowly evolve....
wish i had wings.....
and that particular ring...
n i will be entering...
and soul will be searching.....
there are ever afters...
and also hereAfters...
come sorrow come laughters..
forever B...my dear tsunami drifters...
* this ones for the fatherIn Tears..who lost all five gifts...at one drift..aren't we all drifting here?*
27 December 2004
Of Joy And Sorrow.....u came to me
27th December 2004
Of shades pink n blue...
i spent the weekend makin it thru...
when joyest blew....n e'body knew...
somethings pink n somethings blue....
Of pink parade..
u had u're day..
the day has paid....
u had u're way...
but other's mild...
because of wild....
storms that has charmed....
has left us alarmed....
i tried to breath....
n be underneath...
to believe all to be....
was just a dream i'LL be...
but i was awake...
this wasn't a mistake...
what i thought never make...
became e'thing but fake...
as i lay my head tonite...
gaining strength n all might...
know will make it thru this nite...
as long as we unite....
just stay awake...
make no mistake....
one all might to be....
of joy and sorrow...u came to me....
* this ones for u babe...congrats on u're engagement....the best EVE ever kan ?...
n all myhopes n doa for those Tsunami survivor...it hit us all ..it hit us hard....now its just whats left n the days that come after....so how's it gonna b?*
Of shades pink n blue...
i spent the weekend makin it thru...
when joyest blew....n e'body knew...
somethings pink n somethings blue....
Of pink parade..
u had u're day..
the day has paid....
u had u're way...
but other's mild...
because of wild....
storms that has charmed....
has left us alarmed....
i tried to breath....
n be underneath...
to believe all to be....
was just a dream i'LL be...
but i was awake...
this wasn't a mistake...
what i thought never make...
became e'thing but fake...
as i lay my head tonite...
gaining strength n all might...
know will make it thru this nite...
as long as we unite....
just stay awake...
make no mistake....
one all might to be....
of joy and sorrow...u came to me....
* this ones for u babe...congrats on u're engagement....the best EVE ever kan ?...
n all myhopes n doa for those Tsunami survivor...it hit us all ..it hit us hard....now its just whats left n the days that come after....so how's it gonna b?*
23 December 2004
pullin the trigger...
23rd December 2004
its 7pm...n i'm still at the office...
still in front of my pc....still loads to do...
still tryin to breath...still tryin to believe...
u see i dont mind havin loads n loads of work to do..its not like i have a bf to have fun wit after work...or on a date....honestLy i don't mind doing the xtra hour...or going the xtra mile...for work...for myWork....
(its the feeling of not being there that shits the most)...
this mornin i already had two to settle up my belly...one overdue report n another in the process...
then my boss had sume what i call a BitchFit....
she started askin non-Urgent matters to b settled today.....the one day i had too much to do...
i was honest when i say i was not done n that it won'tb proper for her to see it...
but she just had to get that bitchFit today....
n nothin was ever right ever since...
she kept callin me...askin to clarify things, correct things, ammend this n that.....
n at the end of the day....when there was no reason to get a fit...
she told me i was disorganize n that i was a dissapoinment to her....
it broke me to pieces...
i didn't do anything wrong...nothing got misplaced...or overdue....
bigBoss didn;t even raise it in the meeting..
but she had to go the xtra mile n say it...
n it broke me...
maybe its my period is coming...or i just got out of the wrong side of the bed...
because i usually never take these things seriously...i let it linger in my head..then i just tell myself "Ahhh...Fuck it lar..i'll Live..."...but not today...
it made me think....
thinkin aloud_
i dunt belong here..
i dunt fit here at all..
i don't know what i'm doin...
most of the times i just get lost or confuse on what is goin on..
maybe she's right...
maybe she's right all along...
i can never gain her trust huh
i can never be that good here
i can never fit here...
shit still got loads to do tonite...
and the worst part was...
i thought i was doing good...
i thought i was that officer bosses are proud of ...
i just thought..
till she told me i was dissapointing....
i need to get out here...
at least now..
at least this hour...
i'm getting colder..
runnin would b most wiser...
before i turn n pull the trigger.
curry_n-crack
its 7pm...n i'm still at the office...
still in front of my pc....still loads to do...
still tryin to breath...still tryin to believe...
u see i dont mind havin loads n loads of work to do..its not like i have a bf to have fun wit after work...or on a date....honestLy i don't mind doing the xtra hour...or going the xtra mile...for work...for myWork....
(its the feeling of not being there that shits the most)...
this mornin i already had two to settle up my belly...one overdue report n another in the process...
then my boss had sume what i call a BitchFit....
she started askin non-Urgent matters to b settled today.....the one day i had too much to do...
i was honest when i say i was not done n that it won'tb proper for her to see it...
but she just had to get that bitchFit today....
n nothin was ever right ever since...
she kept callin me...askin to clarify things, correct things, ammend this n that.....
n at the end of the day....when there was no reason to get a fit...
she told me i was disorganize n that i was a dissapoinment to her....
it broke me to pieces...
i didn't do anything wrong...nothing got misplaced...or overdue....
bigBoss didn;t even raise it in the meeting..
but she had to go the xtra mile n say it...
n it broke me...
maybe its my period is coming...or i just got out of the wrong side of the bed...
because i usually never take these things seriously...i let it linger in my head..then i just tell myself "Ahhh...Fuck it lar..i'll Live..."...but not today...
it made me think....
thinkin aloud_
i dunt belong here..
i dunt fit here at all..
i don't know what i'm doin...
most of the times i just get lost or confuse on what is goin on..
maybe she's right...
maybe she's right all along...
i can never gain her trust huh
i can never be that good here
i can never fit here...
shit still got loads to do tonite...
and the worst part was...
i thought i was doing good...
i thought i was that officer bosses are proud of ...
i just thought..
till she told me i was dissapointing....
i need to get out here...
at least now..
at least this hour...
i'm getting colder..
runnin would b most wiser...
before i turn n pull the trigger.
curry_n-crack
22 December 2004
Come Away and i'll be.....With Me To Bangi ( " ,)
22 December 2004.
runnin Away....is the perfect way...
to spend this day...so far far away....
i came today....maybe wept to stay...
don't look so stray...maybe so another day...
i taste u're wind....that made me spin...
i look within...
n breeze so thin...
u took me in...
i'm here so keen....
come here n lean.....
and u get what i mean....
i was afraid....
afraid to trade...
afraid i'll fade....
afraid that paid....
but it was sweet...n up my beat....
u had my wheat....u had my bead...
i came to u....i came to see u....
the stars u knew....
has made me confuse...
another day...another way....
i couldnt stay... no not today...
but come away...cause i never say....
that i'll be away....just only today...
live in me....
live with me....
come away n i'll be...
with me to bangi ....
10.30 am
*curryNCrap would like to take this oppurtunity to thank LostPoet for showin her the roots, n roundabouts (n not forgetting the laundry bit...heheh) of Bangi....may we hope she remembers them all n not just keep loosing her way to see them UKM Boyzzzzzz...(mmmmm) ...heheheehe...
C H E E R S! ( " ,)*
runnin Away....is the perfect way...
to spend this day...so far far away....
i came today....maybe wept to stay...
don't look so stray...maybe so another day...
i taste u're wind....that made me spin...
i look within...
n breeze so thin...
u took me in...
i'm here so keen....
come here n lean.....
and u get what i mean....
i was afraid....
afraid to trade...
afraid i'll fade....
afraid that paid....
but it was sweet...n up my beat....
u had my wheat....u had my bead...
i came to u....i came to see u....
the stars u knew....
has made me confuse...
another day...another way....
i couldnt stay... no not today...
but come away...cause i never say....
that i'll be away....just only today...
live in me....
live with me....
come away n i'll be...
with me to bangi ....
10.30 am
*curryNCrap would like to take this oppurtunity to thank LostPoet for showin her the roots, n roundabouts (n not forgetting the laundry bit...heheh) of Bangi....may we hope she remembers them all n not just keep loosing her way to see them UKM Boyzzzzzz...(mmmmm) ...heheheehe...
C H E E R S! ( " ,)*
17 December 2004
the stars look brighter this 3am...
17th December 2004
been up withU ...without any clue...
to meet my stars...up to myMars.....
maybe its the wind...or what made me spin...
but nothin makes my day..even if i am grey....
some may wonder...others do ponder....theres nothin but slumber...up beyond those numbers...
i close my eyes...n hear my cries...
n beneath its spies...its still lay miles..
i look beyond...n talk upon..
just things to share...and non to stare...
even i am aware...there's noOne there...
but look up there...n don't be square...
im not to scare...hopefully u're there...
i have myStars...even if in bars....even if myMars...is nothing but jars...
with my stars n M&M....
tryin not to be.... somewhat cramp...
all i'll b n all i am....
the stars look brighter this 3 am....
9.55am
been up withU ...without any clue...
to meet my stars...up to myMars.....
maybe its the wind...or what made me spin...
but nothin makes my day..even if i am grey....
some may wonder...others do ponder....theres nothin but slumber...up beyond those numbers...
i close my eyes...n hear my cries...
n beneath its spies...its still lay miles..
i look beyond...n talk upon..
just things to share...and non to stare...
even i am aware...there's noOne there...
but look up there...n don't be square...
im not to scare...hopefully u're there...
i have myStars...even if in bars....even if myMars...is nothing but jars...
with my stars n M&M....
tryin not to be.... somewhat cramp...
all i'll b n all i am....
the stars look brighter this 3 am....
9.55am
16 December 2004
citrus tea for two ( " , )
16th December 2004
damn i didn't bring the sugar...
i was knockin my head (not literaly tho.....hehehe)...
to actually forget the one essential thing..
and so i thought....(heheheheh)...
i couldnt sit still...
couln't even bite.....
i try to be still....
couldn't even put my foot right...
there it was....
just the two of us...
what a blast....
strings n citrus....
like most nites...
needed my stars....
needed my mars...
needed to cry...
n needed to fly...
but not that nite...
not lastnite...
i was with u...
citrus for two....
u played u're strings...
u made me spin...
u came in to my strings...
as i rocked u spin...
feel my skin...
deep within...
feel me near...
to cum within....
the nite was mild...
my legs were wild..
u hands went a mile...
made me weak awhile...
i bore u...
with my past...
with what is past...
while u...
tried to ask...
whats my past...
n which to cast...
i breath u're strings...
i breath with wings...
u gave me things...
i want to bring....
u soaked me deep...
u soaked me wet...
u made me think ...
u made me wet....
the nite was blue...
the stars follow thru...
i wanna b wit u...
citrus tea for two...
9.40am
damn i didn't bring the sugar...
i was knockin my head (not literaly tho.....hehehe)...
to actually forget the one essential thing..
and so i thought....(heheheheh)...
i couldnt sit still...
couln't even bite.....
i try to be still....
couldn't even put my foot right...
there it was....
just the two of us...
what a blast....
strings n citrus....
like most nites...
needed my stars....
needed my mars...
needed to cry...
n needed to fly...
but not that nite...
not lastnite...
i was with u...
citrus for two....
u played u're strings...
u made me spin...
u came in to my strings...
as i rocked u spin...
feel my skin...
deep within...
feel me near...
to cum within....
the nite was mild...
my legs were wild..
u hands went a mile...
made me weak awhile...
i bore u...
with my past...
with what is past...
while u...
tried to ask...
whats my past...
n which to cast...
i breath u're strings...
i breath with wings...
u gave me things...
i want to bring....
u soaked me deep...
u soaked me wet...
u made me think ...
u made me wet....
the nite was blue...
the stars follow thru...
i wanna b wit u...
citrus tea for two...
9.40am
14 December 2004
my lil sweet bloatedPoet ( " , )
14 December 2004
i met the poet...
my sweet poet...
mysterious lil bloated...
lil sweet melted...
i met him nite....
which was quite rite...
n in the lite...
he made me bright...
it was unknown...
it was insane...
with place unknown...
with heads so sane...
wish i could potray...
things i wanted to say...
but all he could say...
is that he is not gay...
not to get...
not to fret...
i'm not finished yet...
my lil sweet bloated poet
c h e e r s !
10.50am
i met the poet...
my sweet poet...
mysterious lil bloated...
lil sweet melted...
i met him nite....
which was quite rite...
n in the lite...
he made me bright...
it was unknown...
it was insane...
with place unknown...
with heads so sane...
wish i could potray...
things i wanted to say...
but all he could say...
is that he is not gay...
not to get...
not to fret...
i'm not finished yet...
my lil sweet bloated poet
c h e e r s !
10.50am
9 December 2004
Lashing it Out
9 December 2004
i'm hating it...
i'm violating it...
day by the day...
i'm losing it..
i cannot breath...i cannot see...
sometimes even cannot be...
whats wrong wit me...
whats happend to me...
u r dear to me...
but today it wont be...
i have this rage...
i cannot cave...
i want to rage...
to end this crave....
i need to spur...
behind this blur...
i need to fill...
believe to kill...
believe there's sumthin i need to drill...
i gotta run...
or even spurn....
to go somewhere....
with no return...
i'm really about...
to scream out loud...
to let it out...
lashing it out....
curry_n_crap
5.50pm
i'm hating it...
i'm violating it...
day by the day...
i'm losing it..
i cannot breath...i cannot see...
sometimes even cannot be...
whats wrong wit me...
whats happend to me...
u r dear to me...
but today it wont be...
i have this rage...
i cannot cave...
i want to rage...
to end this crave....
i need to spur...
behind this blur...
i need to fill...
believe to kill...
believe there's sumthin i need to drill...
i gotta run...
or even spurn....
to go somewhere....
with no return...
i'm really about...
to scream out loud...
to let it out...
lashing it out....
curry_n_crap
5.50pm
7 December 2004
darkest sky i'll ever b
7 th December 2004
could not stand....
could not see...
could not be beyond that tree...
what to me...
has become a sea....
as i want to be...
a forever me...
give me a reason...
give me a sign...
as i kill this treason...
and forever benign....
look up ahead..
look at me....
with no regret...
darkest sky i'll ever be..
curry_n_ crap
12.10pm
could not stand....
could not see...
could not be beyond that tree...
what to me...
has become a sea....
as i want to be...
a forever me...
give me a reason...
give me a sign...
as i kill this treason...
and forever benign....
look up ahead..
look at me....
with no regret...
darkest sky i'll ever be..
curry_n_ crap
12.10pm
2 December 2004
what a boring day
2nd December 2004
tones of work..
loads to think about...
n its still a boring day...
my laundry piled like shit...
same goes with my shit......
n thats not counting the other shits....
maybe i should call it a shitty day...
i can't stay focus..
i can't sit still..
i can't even finish a sentence...
been checkin my phone...
yep its fine....
though no ones ring...
damn dats boring...
damn ..dats shit.....
where is my muse...
that i want to abuse...
to tell him i'm missUse...
by a guy name tomCruise...
(kahkakhakakhakakahkak....shit ...dat ryhmes)
so as i am in stress...
n so is john's Mistress...
i need to impress...
n tell all the press....
(no sense...but it still ryhme......double shit)
what a boring day.
1.00pm
tones of work..
loads to think about...
n its still a boring day...
my laundry piled like shit...
same goes with my shit......
n thats not counting the other shits....
maybe i should call it a shitty day...
i can't stay focus..
i can't sit still..
i can't even finish a sentence...
been checkin my phone...
yep its fine....
though no ones ring...
damn dats boring...
damn ..dats shit.....
where is my muse...
that i want to abuse...
to tell him i'm missUse...
by a guy name tomCruise...
(kahkakhakakhakakahkak....shit ...dat ryhmes)
so as i am in stress...
n so is john's Mistress...
i need to impress...
n tell all the press....
(no sense...but it still ryhme......double shit)
what a boring day.
1.00pm
1 December 2004
i wanna b wit U
7th December 2004
i ended yesterday wit loads to think of...
in my empty house....wit my empty heart....
i look up above to see it off...
to seek some answer.....sure..yeah right
i needed u so badLy...
we talked last nite...
that made me madLy..
be mine tonite.....
u...most likeLy....
should i say....should i tell...
should i b the one to dwell...
my heart kept jumpin...
my words aren't comin
i want to cry..... n my heart kept pumpin
this is crazy...this is not right.....
he kept me jumpin....
am i alright?.....
i can't think right...
i can't even be notty...
against my might...
i'm nice n tidy....
i'm bein sane...
n insane ...
wit u by my side i'm automatically Jane....
oh baby...
i wanna b wit U
(this one for u pranaWannabe...cheers!)
i ended yesterday wit loads to think of...
in my empty house....wit my empty heart....
i look up above to see it off...
to seek some answer.....sure..yeah right
i needed u so badLy...
we talked last nite...
that made me madLy..
be mine tonite.....
u...most likeLy....
should i say....should i tell...
should i b the one to dwell...
my heart kept jumpin...
my words aren't comin
i want to cry..... n my heart kept pumpin
this is crazy...this is not right.....
he kept me jumpin....
am i alright?.....
i can't think right...
i can't even be notty...
against my might...
i'm nice n tidy....
i'm bein sane...
n insane ...
wit u by my side i'm automatically Jane....
oh baby...
i wanna b wit U
(this one for u pranaWannabe...cheers!)
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